JULY
ON JULY 1:
In 1899, fictional adventurer Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr. was born. At 105 years old, he is presumed deceased...
... Until the next sequel, anyway...
In 1967, actress Pamela Anderson was born...
... Her age has finally surpassed her bra size...
In 1916, Coca-Cola brought the current coke formula to the market...
... In fact the original batch is still for sale in some 7-11s...
In 1991, President Bush nominated federal appeals court judge Clarence Thomas to the U.S. Supreme Court...
... But he had to climb a steep (Anita) Hill to get there...
In 2002, Britney Spears opened a restaurant in New York called "Nyla". Spears announced proudly she planned to dine on "fried chicken"...
... Are those chicken breasts real or fake...?
In 2004, Paula Jones, who launched a sexual harassment suit against then-President Bill Clinton, told ABC News she was the first step in an effort by anti-Clinton forces that eventually led to his impeachment: She said, "I agree that I was a small little entity in this big vast whatever-you-want-to-call-it that got erected..."
... And if anybody knows what got erected, she does...
................................................
ON JULY 2...
In 1883, Franz Kafka was born...
... Or was he...?
In 1937, aviator Amelia Earhart and navigator Fred Noonan disappeared over the Pacific Ocean while attempting to make the first round-the-world flight at the equator...
... Proving to be the inspiration for the creation of ValuJet airlines 60 years later...
In 2000, scientists reported that love is real -- and visible in brain scans: the first flushes of true love produced visible changes in the brains of people that could be seen with magnetic resonance imaging...
... And as love grows, the brain disappears completely...
In 2004, Iceland's National Olympic Committee complained to the International Olympic Committee about Athens' policy of allowing more 30 more brothels to open for the Greek 2004 Summer Olympic Games, to cope with the extra demand. Prostitution is legal in Greece...
... Gives the "broad jump" a new meaning at the Olympics...
................................................
ON JULY 3...
In 1962, Tom Cruise was born...
... Born on the THIRD of July...?
In 1971, Doors singer James Douglas Morrison died in Paris...
... Along with the music careers of the other Doors...
In 1882, outlaw, killer (and Bobby Brady's idol) Jesse James was shot to death in St. Joseph, Missouri, by Bob Ford...
... He robbed from the rich and gave to the poor -- coincidentally Jesse was ALWAYS pretty poor at the time of a robbery.
In 1953, T.V. Guide Magazine first appeared in newsstands. It sold for 15 cents a copy...
... Inside the entire TV schedule read: "Snow"...
................................................
ON JULY 4...
In 1776, United States Of America was born; the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence. Only John Hancock, president of the Congress signed -- the other signings took place Aug. 2...
... I guess his signature was so big that it took him a month to finish signing...
In 1789, the first tariff bill was enacted by Congress...
... So, again, happy friggin' Independence Day...
In 1884, the Statue of Liberty is presented to the U.S. from France, commemorating the French and U.S. Revolutions...
... Not exactly fair -- we unloaded Euro-Disney on them...
................................................
ON JULY 5...
In 1951, Hugh Anthony Cregg Louis III -- who became Huey Lewis of Huey Lewis and The News, was born...
... Now it's more like Huey Lewis and the Extremely Olds...
In 1942, Ian Fleming was the first graduate from "Special 25," a training school for spies in Canada. This training proved to be invaluable to his future career: creating the character of James Bond...
... The only school where you’re supposed to cheat and steal the answers to pass the test...
In 1946, the bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. Model Micheline Bernardini wore the abbreviated two-piece outfit, which was covered with a newspaper-print design. The bikini was named for the Pacific atoll that was the site of a U.S. atomic test explosion four days earlier...
... Is that why the models are called bombshells...?
In 1951, "It Pays To Be Ignorant", a TV Game Show, premiered...
... It's now called "Fox News"...
In 2006, engravings were found inside a cave in western France that could date back as far as 28,000 B.C. These prehistoric engravings would predate the world’s oldest cave paintings...
... There was an antelope, a bear, and a 'VOTE BIDEN' sign...
................................................
ON JULY 6...
................................................
ON JULY 7...
................................................
ON JULY 8...
................................................
ON JULY 9...
................................................
ON JULY 10...
................................................
ON JULY 11...
................................................
ON JULY 12...
................................................
ON JULY 13...
Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec
|
The contents of this site copyright
"Comedy On Tap Inc." 1997-2022.
All rights reserved.
Any reprint or distribution of the material
contained herein is expressly prohibited
Please read our Privacy Policy
|
Logo designed by Foster Johnson
