 | WHAT ABOUT MISS MONEYPENNY?(All the women Bond has had carnal relations with in films) |
FILM |
SEXUAL CONQUESTS |
Dr. No | Honey Ryder, Miss Taro |
From Russia With Love | Tatiana Romanova, Vida, Zora, gypsy girl. |
Goldfinger | Jill Masterson, Pussy Galore |
Thunderball | Domino, Fiona, Patricia Fearing |
Casino Royale | Nobody (I told you it was bad) |
You Only Live Twice | Aki, Helga, Kissy |
On Her Majesty's Secret Service | Tracy, Ruby, Nancy, possibly an oriental girl, but, thankfully, not Her Majesty. |
Diamonds Are Forever | Tiffany Case, Plenty O'Toole. |
Live and Let Die | Solitaire, Miss Caruso, Rosie. |
The Man With the Golden Gun | Mary Goodnight, Andrea. |
The Spy Who Loved Me | and several other people, including Anya, cabin girl, Egyptian girl. |
Moonraker | Holly Goodhead, Corrine. |
For Your Eyes Only | Melina, Lisl. |
Octopussy | Octopussy (she needed all eight of them), Magda. |
Never Say Never Again | Domino, Fatima, Patricia Fearing, Deep-sea fishing girl. |
A View To a Kill | May Day, Stacey, Kimberly, Pola (with a 57-year-old? Eeyew!) |
The Living Daylights | Kara, Linda the yacht girl. |
Licence To Kill | Pam Bouvier, Lupe. |
GoldenEye | Natalya, MI6 elvaluator, (almost) Xenia Onatopp. |
Tomorrow Never Dies | Danish language instructor and Paris Carver, but not Wai Lin (Bond refuses to sleep with women who are fitter than he is). |
The World is not Enough | Dr. Warmflash, Elektra King, Christmas Jones. And Moneypenny's getting closer! |
Die Another Day | Jinx, Samantha Frost, and whoever the hell else there was. I lost track. |
Casino Royale | Solange, Vesper... NO MONEYPENNY! |
Quantum of Solace | Strawberry Fields, no Moneypenny! |
Skyfall | Unidentified Turkish Woman, Sévérine, and... BOND... NAILS... MONEYPENNY! |
 |
Unlike his movie namesake, the Bond of the books was lucky if he got one girl per novel, and they were rarely as flawless. Honeychile Rider has a broken nose. Domino Vitale has one leg slightly shorter than the other and limps. Tatiana Romanov has a manly behind from ice skating. And in Moonraker Gala Brand dumps him for some ninny named Detective Inspector Vivian.
Some ladykiller.
"One
of the rules of the Bond pictures is that you're not allowed to have a leading
lady that can act -- because we can't afford them. This is very serious, for if
ever we were to have a real leading lady, the next time around we'd have to have
another one. And in no time at all we'd have to have Jane Fonda for $2 million
and up."
- Guy Hamilton, Bond film director
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Music: "The Look of Love," from "Casino Royale" (1968)