By Phardoe...
Last week Tiger Woods did it again. After winning the U.S. Open by an unprecedented 15 strokes he was the front-runner to win the British Open. All the media, all the anticipation were firmly planted on his young shoulders. Tiger this, Tiger that. After a somewhat slow beginning he started to turn it on. Tiger went into the final round with a six-stroke lead over David Duval. Unless the ghost of Greg Norman showed up there was no way he was going to lose. Well the Ghost of Shark was a no show and Tiger shot a final round of 69 for a four day total of 269, 19 under, to win the British Open by 8 strokes. By doing this he captured the career grand slam by the age of twenty-four. Jack Nicklaus was twenty-six.
Tiger's genius had prevailed; his game, his ability, and his mental toughness were all there for him. They say that he has the strongest mind and will power in the game today. His mental toughness allows him the ability to overcome almost all, if not all, the challenges that he encounters. He overcame the wind at St. Andrews, the concrete-like course conditions and not to mention the pursuit of all the other challengers on the PGA tour. All of these guys want to win; they all have the ability to win. But it seems like all they do every week is chase Tiger. In fact, Ernie Els finished second (tie) last week setting a record of very successful futility. He's finished second in three majors. No one else has done that. Tiger finished first in all of those three!
Tiger truly is the man in the world of golf. A friend asked me last week, how would it feel to know that you are the absolute best in the world at what you do? Pretty freaking mind blowing huh?
Well I've kind of set you up. After saying all that, it was not the most impressive performance last week. Not even close!! Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France for the second year in a row. He beat his closest challenger, Jan Ullrich of Germany, by 6 minutes, 2 seconds. Does he consider it his greatest accomplishment? No! He says that is being a cancer survivor.
In 1996 Armstrong was diagnosed with testicular cancer. By the time he found out the cancer had spread to his lungs and brain. The doctors had informed Armstrong's family that he had a thirty percent chance of survival. He went through many painful months of chemotherapy and brain surgery to remove tumors. He had to learn to ride a bicycle all over again. Somewhere through all of this pain and anguish he found a way to survive.
He started training again, found a sponsor, and competed, completed and won the biggest race in the cycling world, twice!
The reason I'm going off about all this is because I saw something the other day on the Internet that kind of pissed me off. It was an opinion poll on who was a greater champion, Tiger or Lance? Well let's see. Hmm, one of them was the victor in one of the greatest challenges in his sport and the other one overcame a near death experience to win the biggest challenge in his sport. No dispute, advantage Lance!
I appreciate the fact that Tiger is an upstanding citizen who doesn't get arrested and truly honors the majesty of his sport but come on, leave it at that. He's a freaking golfer for God's sake. He is a phenom, he was born to play the game but that's it. He has won four majors, so what. Let's tally the totals at the end of the day. Jack Nicklaus has won twenty majors including the Masters six times.
Lance Armstrong is a hero and he should be getting all the accolades. Is Tiger a golf God? Yes, but Armstrong is a national hero and a survivor and I don't mean in the CBS, stranded on an island kind of way.
Now, a wee bit of other crap. The Cincinnati Bengals have finally parted company with wide receiver Carl Pickens, who set team records for career receptions and receiving touchdowns. Good riddance!
Barry Larkin is staying in Cincinnati -- for the rest of this season and the next three as well. Hours after he rejected a trade to the Mets, the All-Star shortstop agreed Sunday to a three-year, $27 million contract extension that will keep him with his hometown Reds through 2003. Well deserving!
Reggie White, the NFL's career sacks leader, agreed in principle Friday with the Carolina Panthers to come out of retirement and play again this season. The Minister of Defense. The old, tired-ass, homophobic, "I didn't miss the game, I just wanted to play some more" (straight from the Shaq School of Quotes); Minister of Defense!
Good Luck old guy!
I feel better now!
7/28/2000
Pro Kickball
By Phardoe...
Define "gentleman"... |
Doesn't it just baffle the hell out of you when you hear what athletes make? Yeah I know, they are the draw that get the people there, they get the television money, blah, blah, blah! But still it seems like they make just way too damn much money. All the games are, after all, kids games. Maybe I should start a professional four-square league or the NKL, the National Kickball League. The salaries that these guys and chicks (but not so much) make don't seem to have a ceiling. The Yankees annual salary is over 100 million bucks a year. Twenty years ago they weren't even worth that much.
Well let me tell you about a few anecdotes from this past week. Some of these ditties favor the athletes and one doesn't, at all! I guess the athletes can't win them all!
The Tennessee Titans reached an agreement Monday that will make Eddie George the highest-paid running back in the NFL. Lamont Smith, his agent, confirmed that terms had been reached for a six-year contract extension worth $42 million, including a $14 million signing bonus that will be paid out over the next 10 months. "The thing we're most pleased about is the deal places him in that elite category, which he deserves,'' he said Monday night. Bullshit, what there "most pleased" about is the 14 million bucks they got just to sign. Just to sign the damn contract? The signing bonus equals the $14 million cornerback Ty Law received from the New England Patriots and tops the $13 million to receiver Keyshawn Johnson of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers or Joey Galloway's $12 million from the Dallas Cowboys.
I sign crap all the time and never get anything, half the time I don't even get to keep the pen! For the mathematically challenged that's seven million dollars a year. Viva NKL!
Last year the Indianapolis Colts signed rookie Edgerrin James to a seven-year, $49 million contract, while the St. Louis Rams signed Marshall Faulk to a seven-year, $45 million deal. Jamal Anderson of the Atlanta Falcons signed a five-year, $32 million contract last year.
But hey, in baseball and basketball that's nothing. George is getting robbed!
A mystery bidder at a charity auction paid $1.7 million to play a round of golf with world No. 1 Tiger Woods. WHAT??!! The bidder will join Woods and Mark O'Meara for 18 holes later this year in Florida. O'Meara joked about how he might throw in a lesson. For that kind of cash I want dancing girls, lobster, champagne, an unlimited amount of mulligans and if I lose I want my money back. That is a fine example of someone who just has entirely too much money. Dumbass! I'll play a round with him. Hell I'll do it for a C note!
Honus Wagner is still a big hit after 91 years. A near-mint condition card depicting the Hall of Fame Pittsburgh Pirates shortstop, issued in 1909 by the American Tobacco Company, fetched a winning bid of $1.1 million on Saturday on the eBay online auction house. The winning bidder, whose identity was not released, will pay $1.265 million, which includes a 15 percent buyer's premium. Once again I'm faced with, WHAT??!!
I'm starting to see a correlation between "anonymous bidder" and very wealthy. Where can I get an application for that job?
"I had a great time with this card and I'll miss it,'' Gidwitz said. "I had a good time buying it and I wish the person who won it has as good a time with it as I had.'' "The money's nice, but I sold this card to draw attention to the other things I have in my collection,'' Gidwitz said. "I owned it for 3 years and 10 months, and decided I wanted to sell it if I could have fun doing it. I certainly had fun and I feel like I'm in the card-collecting hall of fame.''
What the hell is he talking about? Is it a baseball card or a kid?
And finally, Toronto Raptors' superstar Vince Carter is, what's the word…….F***ED! Carter is under contract with the shoe company Puma. Apparently last season the shoes hurt his feet so he stopped wearing them. Then he canceled the contract. Bad move Vince! Puma didn't agree with Vince so they took him to court and sued for breach of contract. Guess what? They won! Now Vince is ordered to pay a reported 13.5 million dollars. American money!!!
That is WAY too much money to be giving away. Hell I would strap cinder blocks to my feet and play before I would fork over that much dough. I'd wear Romper Stompers! I'd wear retractable roller skates. I'd wear Pumas backwards, in my sleep, in the shower, during sex! I'd go on a nationwide campaign and tell everyone how great there were and how comfortable they feel, anything before writing that check. I'll bet someone from Vince's camp gets fired over this.
On a different angle here are two small items of other crap. Baseball owners appeared set to put off realignment until 2002 and might even discuss getting rid of the Montreal Expos and another team when they meet Friday.
"Baseball, apple pie and Chevrolet". Where is the word "Canada" in that line? They only draw about 8000 to a game anyway. Two words…GET OUT!
Jerry West, a key member of the Los Angeles Lakers' organization for 40 years, is stepping down as executive vice president of basketball operations, according to an Internet report. Whatever! Hopefully he goes into broadcasting so I can hear his crap more often!
I feel better now!
7/19/2000
![[sportshollywood]](images/psgorilla.jpg)
