Phardoe "Phardoe" says...

"Shut Your Pie-Hole!"



booyah The Low-Down on the Skinny

By Phardoe...

The world of sports has so much to offer. All the good and all the bad along with the many, many sports to choose from, from the big four to the smaller sports that don't get as much national recognition. Those smaller sports can be just as entertaining, well not just as entertaining but I'm trying to prove a point here. Through it all you would think I would have plenty to choose from when I write my award-winning column. When certain big time sports events happen, I have to write about them. I especially have to write about them if they fascinate me or just piss me off. Bingo, both happened, all at the same time!

The Texas Rangers signed A-Rod, a.k.a. A-Greed, to a 10 year, $252 million contract!

What the hell is that all about? First of all he was only asking for 10 year, $200 million contract. How would you like to go to your boss, ask for a giant raise and he says sure and I'll also give you 25% more than you're asking?! Sounds good huh?

If you live under a rock here's the lowdown…the skinny.

Not only did A-Greed break the bank in Texas, Manny Ramirez did almost the same thing in Boston. He had been holding out and continuously saying no to an 8 year $144 million deal. Sounds greedy right? Or does it sound like good business sense? A-Greed gets his cash and then the Red Sox up their offer another $16 million. Patience is a virtue!

In the NL, Colorado added Mike Hampton for $121 million over eight years. That's $15 million a year in a ballpark that eats pitchers for breakfast. Oh yeah, he only works once every five days!

Not wanting to be outdone, the Houston Astros signed Jeff Bagwell to an $85 million, five-year contract extension through 2006. That deal averages $17 million a year.

The San Diego Padres gave Tony Gwynn what he wanted, a contract extension. But, they added a few clauses. A free agent for the first time in his career, the 40-year-old Gwynn decided to accept an incentive-laden contract that would be worth $5.7 million if he gets 600 plate appearances. Gwynn can earn $3.7 million in bonuses if he makes 600 plate appearances. He'd get $1,000 for every plate appearance from 1-100; $1,500 from 101-200; $5,000 from 201-300; $8,500 from 301-400; and $10,500 from 401-600. Any plate appearance beyond 600 would be worth $15,000.

Sounds like mess huh? Is it too much money to play a child's game? To a degree, yes it is. But this is America, the land of Capitalism. If they're willing to pay it shouldn't they take it? Would you say no to a big pay raise? I don't think many people would tell the man, "No, thanks anyway, but I'm not worth that much!"

Here's something to chew on. Maybe the reason these salaries are so out of control is the owner's fault. In the decade of the nineties there were sixteen teams added to the big four - baseball, basketball, football and hockey. Too many teams and not enough talent.

Why expand then? Because the owners want more $$$!!! They figure if the sport is hot then expand. More teams mean more cities which means more fans and that means more cash! The players aren't fools; they're just as much businessmen as they are athletes.

In today's world the teams make money on everything from hot dogs to video games and the players want a piece of that. Are the players greedy, hell yes! But so are the owners! You reap what you sow my friends!

Sports may have a tough road ahead of them trying to keep these salaries up. By signing A-Greed for that much, the Texas Rangers have raised the bar. All players are going to want more money now, a lot more! The stars are going to want A-Greed type cash and the hacks are going to want $5 million a year just to be as platoon player.

And guess who's going to suffer? Us, the fans! I'll bet the Rangers raise all ticket prices well before the season starts. A family of four will never be able to see their heroes play in person because it'll cost too damn much money to get there! Tough break little Johnny, you're just going to have to watch the game on the tube.

When the Rangers were bought from George W. and his good ole boys they didn't even sell for $250 million. Here's what the Rangers could have bought instead of a shortstop, the Chicago Cubs, the St. Louis Cardinals or the San Francisco Giants. Don't like baseball? How about the NHL's Philadelphia Flyers or the NBA's Phoenix Suns.

I'm outta here! I'm off to talk to my boss about a raise and a contract extension! I deserve it right?

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa and Happy New Year! I'll see you in 2001 - A Sports Odyssey. If I missed one, enjoy yourself and to quote Big Stinky Mike, "Drive fast and take chances!"

I feel better now!

12/19/2000

phardoe@sportshollywood.com

Piehole Archive
[sportshollywood] Phardoe lives at the beach and can currently be seen on a barstool near you. Feel free to buy him drinks! But beware -- Phardoe is also the loudest, angriest sportsfan who has ever lived. He thinks British soccer fans are sissies. If he starts to get aggressive, just say "Big Unit rocks" or "Sun Devils rule" to calm him, then find the nearest exit. (Or just buy him another beer.)

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