By Anonymous (or whatever you want to call me)
October 29, 2002
You are probably expecting a letter that has someone cussing you out and stuff but I dont do that! I just want to tell you no matter how much you bad talkTexas and the Cowboys, the more I like the both of them! I love Texas...that's my favorite state and I love the Cowboys and its a free country and so I can! You just don't like the Cowboys because they beat one of your sissy football teams awhile back or maybe even last week...and so I have three words for you Get over it! I dont live in Texas so you cant say thats another cocky Texan!
Isaiah O.
Dear Isaiah,
You suck. Spoken like someone with a true inferiority complex. OU clobbered Texas. The Cowboys got beat (pick any week you like). And I don't see the Texas Rangers or the Houston Astros playing in the World Series right now. Thank you for your kind words.
Mr. Lunch
"Texans Are Losers Part II...Texas - OU Weekend"
By Anonymous (or whatever you want to call me)
October 10, 2000
Okay, you clowns, flame me with your emails again if you want, but did Texas suck last weekend or what?!!! TEXAS LONGHORNS ARE LOSERS! And beat by a bunch of cheating pansies from Oklahoma at that. So instead of ranting and raving, I've decided to simply leave it all at that for this week because I think that your joke of a showing pretty much sums it all up. I'm going to ask that the SportsHollywood guys attach my email address to the end of this so that you can send me some of your love letters and I'll either laugh at you with my Hollywood pals or I'll print a couple for all of the SportsHollywood public to see. Until then...so long, LOSERS!
Texans Are Losers
by Anonymous
San Francisco 49er Terrell Owens picks himself up after being hit by Dallas Cowboy George Teague in the fourth quarter on Sunday, Sept. 24, in Irving, Texas. |
Now I'll admit that the 49ers' Terrell Owens' moronic display of Cowboy contempt this weekend showed little class or tact...but, for God sakes, can someone, somewhere, somehow please shut all of these damn Texans up?!! There is no single group in all of America that is more pompous and arrogant as are Texans about their sports teams, and even just about their state in general. Let's face it - this is a place where 80% of the counties smell like cooked petroleum and that's just because the other 20% is too smoggy to smell anything other than your cow's ass.
Let examine: Hands down, the Cowboys suck. Their owner and self-proclaimed "coach", Jerry Jones, is the laughing stock of the NFL. The NBA's Dallas Mavericks are...puuuulease, I'm still laughing from the word "Mavericks" in the same sentence as "NBA." The Texas Longhorns were picked by the L.A. Times to win the National Title, but they got pummeled by - get this - Stanford. Despite the fact that they have a lovely stadium to play in, the Texas Rangers very well may be the worst team in the AL...and they always have been. Houston just held a press conference to announce the oh-so original moniker of their new NFL franchise as the "Houston Texans" (brilliant, guys). SMU football deserves to go back on probation...definitely enough space already wasted on this one. Hold on, I'm still wracking my brain to think of all the great hockey players who are actually FROM Texas who helped that NHL team that Dallas is renting from Minnesota to go after the Stanley Cup. Since the Astros are only 22 games out of first, see the Texas Rangers comment above and just insert "National League." ...You can see that I could go on for hours, but I think I've made my point. These are not the fixin's of "winners," my friends.
So, why are Texans still so damn cocky about all things Texan? Inferiority complex maybe? Trying to overcompensate for that whole long-running "steers and queers" joke perhaps? What is it that compels Terrell Owens - admittedly not the brain trust for the NFL - to think that he must sprint to the star at midfield of Texas Stadium, spike the football and point at the Cowboys' bench to throw it back into the faces of these Texans?
It is, of course, because these Texans just do not know when to shut up! The Jets are 4 and 0...I should be the pompous one - not you self-righteous Texas idiots. Call me when you've got something to brag about...we'll do lunch.
9/25/00
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