Kovert Komedy

The commercial (if not critical) success of Casino Royale caused three things: 1) People realized that comedy spoofs of James Bond made money; 2) Comedy spoofs of James Bond didn't even have to make sense or be funny to make money; 3) It convinced Woody Allen that no studio or producer should ever be in charge over him -- especially in an out of control, wacky spy comedy. So, he immediately set up his own film... re-dubbing an out of control wacky spy comedy from a Japanese studio. The result makes you wish they'd let him do the same thing to Casino Royale.



Faux Bond (Tatsuya Minashi) meets authentic babes,
including Mie Hama (right).

These films all look especially clunky alongside WHAT'S UP, TIGER LILY?, Woody Allen's deft 1966 Bond spoof. Back when he was still funny, Allen (who appears in CASINO ROYALE as Bond's nebbishy nephew, Jimmy) took a low-budget Japanese spy film called KAGI NO KAGI, had it re-edited, and overdubbed English dialogue, taking gleeful liberties with the storyline. In Allen's version, secret agent Phil Moskowitz (Tatsuya Minashi) is charged with retrieving a stolen recipe for the world's greatest egg salad recipe.

Woody even shows up several times with an Interviewer. (Interviewer: "Woody, because the story is a little bit difficult to follow, would you give the audience and myself a brief rundown on what's gone on so far?" Woody: "No.")

The cast includes future Bond girls Mie Hama -- Kissy Suzuki in 1967's YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE -- as Terri Yaki, and Akiko Wakabayashi -- Aki in YOLT -- as Suki Yaki. The only other notable performer is stripper China Lee, who performs in front of Woody, as he lies on a couch eating an apple during the end credits.

Following his completion of the project, producer Saperstein felt the running time was too short, so he threw in some completely unrelated musical interludes featuring the then-hip pop band The Lovin' Spoonful, which play some ersatz -jangly early country rock crap. This helped convince Allen that he should secure creative control for all his future projects (ironically it's STILL the most modern music he's ever used in his films -- only 40 years out of date). These days, Allen has largely dismissed this film, calling it "a very stupid enterprise" and "stupid and juvenile." He's wrong.

(DVD Easter Egg alert: From the main menu, highlight Woody's glasses and hit Enter for a special treat so good you'll plotz.)

In 1966, Paramount checked in with THE LAST OF THE SECRET AGENTS? They weren't the last, but they did almost kill off the genre.

It was an awkward spoof in which the almost-famous comedy team of Marty Allen and Steve Rossi ("Hello Dere!") play tourists who are coerced into working for a group called Good Guys Inc. Paramount must have been trying to recapture the comedy team success they had enjoyed a decade earlier with Martin and Lewis. But the Allen humor ("Hello Dere!") does not translate well to film; either that, or the script is just mediocre at best. (Sample line: "Hello Dere!")

It features a brassily Bondesque theme song by Nancy Sinatra, who was hired the following year to sing the theme song for YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE.



The suave and sinister
Dr. Goldfoot (Vincent Price)

'Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine', which appeared in 1965, is unmatched for pure camp value. It unashamedly combines elements from 'Dr. No' with all the conventions of the 60's beach movies, including Frankie Avalon as the lead protagonist. Mike Myers has stated that a major inspiration for AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY.

The elegantly demented scoundrel Dr. Goldfoot is an obscure variation on the Bond theme, but DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE and DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS (both 1966) have a devoted following among camp aficionados and insomniacs.

...and his bikini machines,
lethal lipsticks cocked

Pay close attention, now. The first film, starring Vincent Price as the mad scientist bent on world domination, was made in the U.S. and directed by Norman Taurog. Frankie Avalon costarred as the agent from SIC ("A SIC man," as he often introduces himself) who must stop him. The Italian-made sequel, DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS Bombs (1966), is very much like its predecessor except that instead of the girlbots seducing the world's wealthiest men, they seduce the world's most powerful generals. It was helmed by legendary horror director Mario Bava and costarred Fabian.

In both films, Price's plans involve a bevy of Beatle-booted beauties: In the first they're Stepford swingers, in the second they're babes who literally explode when they're kissed. Both films are piquant blends of spy spoof and groovy '60s shenanigans.


THE PRESIDENT'S ANALYST

Coburn starred in another spy spoof for Paramount, called THE PRESIDENT'S ANALYST, in which a psychoanalyst suffers from a breakdown due to having to listen to the American president's problems. James Coburn stars as analyst Dr. Sidney Schaefer, who is called in to give the President someone to talk to. This makes problems. The President is the loneliest man in the world. But the President's analyst is lonelier, especially since the FBI bugs his room and the CIA hires his girlfriend to spy on him. His phone is tapped, his home bugged and the President ca call him at any time. He 'gets away from it all' by going to live with an 'ordinary' family for a while. William Daniels (The Graduate) steals the entire show as the head of a gun-toting "liberal, but not left wing" suburban family devoted to karate, civil rights, and "total sound" home stereos. It turns out to be an unfortunate choice as the family's mum takes unarmed combat lessons, dad has a penchant for collecting all types of guns and their offspring is a whizz at wire-tapping.

Once Sidney makes his escape and finds himself the target of nefarious world powers. Undercover, Dr. Schaefer has a brief stint with the psychedelic rock band (as the gong player) then enjoys an oh-so-1960s LSD orgy scene with token "mind-bending" cinematography.

He ends up being investigated by the FBI, the CIA and the Chinese and Russian intelligence services. In the finale he finds out the real power behind the American presidency -- it is 'The Telephone Company' who operate an army of robots programmed to take over the world by planting miniature phone-like devices in everybody's brains.

The President's Analyst is the sole notable film directed by Theodore J. Flicker (Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang). Primarily known for his work on TV, Flicker was handling spy material on The Man from U.N.C.L.E. when he began penning and directing his own films—outlandish 1960s espionage spoofs like The Troublemaker, which was co-written by Buck Henry. His script for The President's Analyst is witty and daring, even provoking government agencies to demand that Flicker alter the names of the organizations in his film to the less literal (but still obvious) "FBR" and "CEA." (Maybe this movie is paranoid for a reason!)

But the real villain of this piece isn't he Russians, the CIA, or SPECTRE... it's the phone company! Instead of a bald megalomaniac stroking a cat we have an overly courteous, ever-smiling phone company rep! Syndney is finally saved by two friendly counter-spies: Godfrey Cambridge of the CIA and Severn Darden of the Russian secret police. Originally Darden was going to capture or kill Sydney, but after a brief session with a breakthrough concerning his father, he decides he needs Coburn more than the KGB. ("I need my analyst!") The key moment is when Darden offers Sidney an M16 to hold off The Phone Company's private army. Pacifist Sidney at first refuses until Darden insists: "You wanna change the world? Take the gun!" And of course, the good Dr. finds killing phone company reps is a possitively cathartic experience -- he's never felt so psychologically healthy!



MORE KOOKY KAPERS:

  • Agent 8¾ (1964), a British spy comedy in which an unemployed Czech-speaking writer Nicholas Whistler thinks he's got a job visiting Prague for a bit of industrial espionage. Director: Ralph Thomas; Stars: Dirk Bogarde, Sylva Koscina, Robert Morley, Leo McKern. (98 mins.)
  • Carry On Spying (1964), British parody with James Bind, Agent 006 1/2, changed to Charlie Bind, Agent 000 (Double 0, oh!) for copyright reasons. A top secret chemical formula has been stolen by STENCH (the Society for the Total Extinction of Non-Conforming Humans). (87 mins.) Director: Gerald Thomas; Stars: Kenneth Williams, Barbara Windsor, Bernard Cribbins, Charles Hawtrey
  • That Man from Rio (1964), French adventure spoof of Bond-type films.
  • Slå først, Frede! (1965) and its successor Slap af, Frede! aka Relax Freddie (1966) are Danish parodies directed by Erik Balling. The hero, Frede Hansen, was played by Morten Grunwald.
  • The 2nd Best Secret Agent in the Whole Wide World (1965): Dauntless British agent Charles Vine is called upon to escort to London the famed Swedish scientist. Director: Lindsay Shonteff; Stars: Tom Adams, Karel Stepanek, Peter Bull, John Arnatt. (96 mins.)
  • The Intelligence Men (1965), broad farce with British comic duo Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise.
  • Lucky, the Inscrutable, aka Lucky, el intrépido (1966), gag-filled Spanish-Italian comedy from Jesús Franco starring Ray Danton.
  • Where the Spies Are (1965): Director: Val Guest; Stars: David Niven, Françoise Dorléac, John Le Mesurier, Cyril Cusack. This led to Casino Royale. Bastards. (110 mins.)
  • Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title (1966): A man is mistaken by foreign agents for a defecting cosmonaut and must prove his identity while evading capture. (83 mins.) Director: Harmon Jones; Stars: Morey Amsterdam, Rose Marie, Richard Deacon, Joey Adams.
  • The Spy with a Cold Nose (1966): British parody of secret agent films, in which a dog with a spying device under its skin is sent to the Russian government as a present. When the Russians send the dog to a veterinary, British spy must get to the dog first and retrieve the spying device. (93 mins.) Director: Daniel Petrie. Stars: Laurence Harvey, Daliah Lavi, Lionel Jeffries, Eric Sykes.
  • The Girl from S.I.N. (1966): (68 mins.) Director: C. Davis Smith; Stars: Joyana, Barbara Kemp, Carol Evans, Mary O'Hara.
  • The End of Agent W4C (1967), Czech parody. Superagent W4C has all proprieties of 007 - artificial gadgets, nice girls, spies everywhere around them.
  • Caprice (1967), American comedy-thriller with Doris Day.
  • Le Magnifique (1973), French comedy starring Jean-Paul Belmondo and Jacqueline Bisset.
  • Agent 00-7-11 is a parody of James Bond in the film Ninja Academy (1990). In the film 00711 gets his Licence to Kill temporarily revoked.
  • If Looks Could Kill aka Teen Agent (1991) directed by William Dear, starring Richard Grieco, Linda Hunt; a mistaken-identity caper.
  • From Beijing with Love (1994), with and by Stephen Chow, stars a Chinese 007 wanna-be to search for a stolen dinosaur skull.
  • Pub Royale (1996), a parody based on the novel of Casino Royale starring Alan Carr.
  • Spy Hard (1996), starring Leslie Nielsen and Nicollette Sheridan.
  • Undercover Brother (2002)
  • The Tuxedo (2002). A taxi driver called Jimmy Tong (Jackie Chan) accidentally becomes a spy when he wears a special tuxedo which gives him special skills (martial arts, strength, dancing, singing, sniper skills, etc.).
  • Johnny English (2003), a James Bond spoof starring Rowan Atkinson, and its 2011 sequel, Johnny English Reborn.
  • Looney Tunes: Back in Action widely parodies James Bond, with a film poster for Licence to Spy, a parody of Licence to Kill, the Mother character simultaneously satiring M and Q, a car highly similar to an Aston Martin DBS loaded with gadgets (which serves Bugs Bunny a carrot martini Shaken Not Stirred), a penultimate scene that parodies Moonraker, and the film's Damian Drake movies parodying the success of the James Bond films. Drake is even played by former James Bond actor Timothy Dalton. The character Dusty Tails could also be a simultaneous reference to the Bond girl and Shirley Bassey, who sang three of the themes to the James Bond film series.
  • The 2006 movie of The Pink Panther, Clouseau met a British agent 006 (played by a tuxedo-clad, uncredited Clive Owen), which Inspector Clouseau replies as "one short of the big time".
  • In the 2006 animated film Flushed Away, Roddy does the gunbarrel to put away a DVD entitled Die Again Tomorrow (a conflation of Die Another Day, Never Say Never Again, and Tomorrow Never Dies), whose cover includes a spy with a gold-painted girl (Goldfinger). Roddy's DVD collection also includes You Only Live 9 Times (You Only Live Twice).
  • Epic Movie (2007) - Bond, from Casino Royale, makes two short appearances in Gnarnia.
  • Meet the Spartans (2008), Le Chiffre appears, torturing Leonidas for the account number in a similar manner to the way he did in Casino Royale. The condition that causes Le Chiffre to weep blood is also parodied, with his tear duct gushing throughout the segment.


  • Studio Portraits  ||  European Enigmas  ||  Italian Jobs  ||  Kovert Komedy  ||  Hong Kong Humint  ||  00-XXX  ||  More



    Photo credits (top to bottom): Everett Collection, Archive Photos, Everett Collection (2)

    Music: "Dr. Goldfoot And The Bikini Machine", written by Guy Hemrick, performed by Diana Ross & The Supremes