The Bond of the books is quite unlike his cinematic counterpart. In his mid-thirties, he never has a ready quip, and he doesn't always get the girl. He worries about getting too lazy and out-of-shape, like all of us, and hates his life.

Dressed in a dull blue suit and knit black tie, he reports to a bland govenment building downtown. He is literally a British civil servant in a dead-end job.

The only fun he has is when he's out of town, on business, but even then it's not what most people would consider a great time (he's fed great meals, but it's usually by an evil villain who is describing how Bond will be tortured and killed after dessert).

Most of his travel time is spent sneaking around in the shadows and coldly assasinating people. Girls are avoided, as they tend to slow you down on your mission (but when he does actually score with one, she's either a double agent or soon dead).

Occasionally he can be found sitting in airports or hotel rooms, musing over the soul-destroying nature of his profession and how many years he has to live before he qualifies for a pension (too many, he concludes).

When he is ordered to seduce Tatiana Romanova in From Russia With Love, he feels humiliated, and bitterly calls it "pimping for England."

The Bond of the films is a totally different person. He is usually middle-aged, smarter than everyone (which he loves to point out himself), and is always over-dressed. He never reflects on the brutal nature of his job. Unlike most spies, he is always the most noticable, glamorous man in the building.

He never worries or panics, snobbishly ingests only the best food and wine, spends money frivolously, and is incredibly over-sexed.

In fact, the truth about the movie Bond is that he resembles the villains in the 007 books more than the hero.

When he is ordered to seduce Tatiana Romanova in From Russia With Love, he ogles her photograph and drools, "Well, I'm not really too busy at the moment, sir..."

Here is a general listing of Bond's attributes, comparing the literary and cinematic versions:

BOOK BOND	MOVIE BOND
Born: 1924	Born: 1929, 1930, 1939,1944 ,1953, 1968
Height: Six feet	Height: 36 feet (in total)
Weight: 167 pounds	Weight: 1,200 pounds? (Depending on which movie you're watching Connery in.)
Hair: Black, now (40 years later) with some silver around the temples. A thick comma continually falls over his right eyebrow.	Hair: Black, brown, blonde, bald
Eyes: Grey-blue	Eyes: brown, green, blue and usually red
Numerous scars on body. A thin, three inch vertical scar down the right cheek.	Who can see scars through all of that make-up?
Nationality: Scottish (Father) & Swiss (Mother).	Nationality: Scottish, Australian, British, Welsh, Irish.
Description: "Rather saturnine."	Description: A) Dynamic; B) wooden; C) dandyish; D) too serious; E) a combination of #A and #C.
Schooling: Removed from Eton after getting caught with a maid.	Schooling: Theatrical schools, bad TV shows.
Looks: High cheekbones. A longish straight nose. He looks a little like Hoagy Carmichael.	Looks: "Possibly the most handsome man in show business!" (usual Oscar night introduction)

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