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SHE HAS MORE IN COMMON WITH BILL THAN
WE THOUGHT: Fox News Channel killed a primetime
segment on Tuesday about a commercial suggesting that First
Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton is a lesbian. The ad is from the
Christian Action Network...
... Or, more correctly, the Christian No-Action Network...
… If she's ever President, I guess we can expect the same
interns…
GOREY DETAILS: Responding
to allegations that a Republican Party TV ad criticizing Al
Gore contained the hidden word "rats" as a subliminal message,
GOP candidate George W. Bush called the charges "bizarre and
weird"… BROADWAY
STAGE FOR LEASE--NO PETS: "Cats"
finally closed on Sunday after 7,484 performances, making it
the longest-running show in Broadway history... ... Now the
cast is being sent to the pound, where they'll be put down...
... He ate rats and snakes - now he's going into business
with them...
Hatch is awash in proposals. Among the offers, he has been
asked to be a spokesman for condoms...
... "Survivor Condoms" - stay until the end!
Meanwhile, Rhode Island prosecutors have dropped a second-degree
child abuse charge against "Survivor" winner Richard Hatch,
who was accused last April of wrapping his hands around the
neck of his 9-year-old son...
... In a sacred ritual he was voted off the most wanted
list...
... So now the word "Psycho" appears as both a credit
AND a description on her résumé...
... Sorry for putting the image in your head of a
pig dumping a load of manure...
... There was a bigger load of that stuff piling
up in the speeches at the convention...
Simply click below:
IT'S
FREE!
... Then they need to find somebody LACKING enough
talent to be Ringo...
... The only time I saw bigger breasts on that
show was when they videotaped Al Roker in a swimsuit...
... And that ice in the soft drinks is WAY
too cold, too...
... Guess which Internet programmer got voted
out of CBS the next day...
... John Rocker is currently trying to
learn how to pitch with his right hand...
... Log onto www.simpson-slash-backslash-slash-slash-backslash
- then the escape key...
... At first he was going to play a governor,
but he wasn’t believable enough in the role...
... He kept asking the voters, "Is
that your final answer?!?"
... "He broke the law when I was
selling him sex for money!!!"
... Far be it from me to say it
isn't the first dog he's been caught
sleeping with...
... It's like sleeping with Hillary,
except there's less hair...
... How does she look so good
at her age? "One word - plastics..."
... "Mayday?" Isn't that what
they were yelling in Elian's boat
when he and his mom were attempting
to ESCAPE from that country...?
Meanwhile, Elian's father Juan
Miguel has received permission to
bring four of his son's Cuban playmates
to the United States to keep him
company...
... Playing hide and seek in
the closet from government troopers
isn't enough...?
A child psychiatrist who interviewed
Elian Gonzalez for the government
recommended that his Miami relatives
reconcile their differences with
his father before they are allowed
to visit the 6-year-old Cuban boy...
... Do you get the feeling
that if King Solomon were still
around and ordered the child cut
in two that both sides would agree
to it...?
... If you get sick from
eating furniture does the doctor
ask for a stool sample...?
... I guess that explains
why Indiana always chokes in
the NCAA Tournament...
... That's why it's a practice
- during a real game he has
to be ready to choke him completely...
... They've already detected
one deadly element in Los
Angeles - it's called THE
AIR...
... The last time Clinton
made a decision about where
to put a Cuban he got impeached...
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