Offensive Joke of the Week! WARNING: The following jokes are in hideously bad taste. You will be offended. You will be repulsed. You will be nauseated. But then again, isn't that the aim of ALL good humor? 2/9/2001 In Hyannis, Massachusetts, Barnstable High School students are examining their cafeteria food a little more closely after one student found a slice of thumb and a bit of nail in her turkey-and-tomato sandwich. Sodexho Marriott Services , which serves more than one million meals a day at schools, colleges and corporations throughout the United States, said that one of its cafeteria workers at the high school had severed the top of her thumb in a slicer... ... Talk about finger food... 2/2/2001 A group of Shriners has sparked a major uproar in Winnipeg after it was reported the fez-festooned members held a men-only fundraiser for sick children that featured nude dancers and public sex acts. The scandal has driven the local Shrine temple to disband the unit behind the event and attempt to distance itself from those responsible. The controversy erupted following newspaper reports that a "Gentlemen's Dinner" fundraiser, organized by the Shriners' motor patrol unit, included two nude dancers who climbed on top of a banquet table where several men touched and engaged in oral sex with them in front of hundreds of male guests... ... I guess that can't be described as "feeding the hungry"... 1/29/2001 David Warren Malloy, the former personal assistant who allegedly attacked David Spade with a stun gun in the actor's Beverly Hills home, pleaded innocent Tuesday to assault and burglary charges. Malloy was released on his own recognizance and the judge ordered him to stay away from Spade... ... You know, just follow along with every other movie and TV fan in America... ... "Just DON'T Shoot Me"... 9/29/2000 An Albanian campaigning for a post as mayor has promised to reward voters with by opening brothels if they back him, a newspaper reported Thursday. Koha Jone said Niko Veizi, Socialist Party candidate in the southern city of Vlore, announced on television he would permit brothels to open for the first time in some 60 years if he won the mayoral election on October 1... ... Most politicians say they'll make it safe to walk the streets again, but I don't think this is what they mean...   8/11/2000 HIT SHOW: CBS and David Letterman's Worldwide Pants production company have issued an apology after "The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn" featured a graphic during its Aug. 4 broadcast which showed George W. Bush speaking before the Republican National Convention while the words "Sniper Wanted" flashed onscreen. CBS and Worldwide Pants called the graphic "inappropriate and regrettable..." ... Besides, no snipers responded... ... Of course it's inappropriate - everyone knows if you want someone killed you go through the Jenny Jones or Jerry Springer shows... 8/4/2000 INHOSPITABLE HOSTESS: A California jury has awarded $121 million to black employees of Interstate Bakeries Corp., who accused the maker of several "Hostess" products of discrimination... ... Yeah - why only WHITE bread...? "Comedy On Tap" has a FREE daily electronic newsletter, delivering the cutting edge in pop culture, entertainment, political and weird humor directly to you -- free of charge!  Simply click below: IT'S FREE! 7/21/2000 THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN: NBC may be jumping on the reality show bandwagon with a program that features a woman chained to four prospective boyfriends... ... Robert Downey Jr. has much the same problem... "Comedy On Tap" has a FREE daily electronic newsletter, delivering the cutting edge in pop culture, entertainment, political and weird humor directly to you -- free of charge!  Simply click below: http://www.comedyontap.com/daily/ IT'S FREE!